Sexual pleasure and safer sex

The under-explored synergy

Many things are hidden within the silence, taboo and criminalisation of certain aspects of people’s sexualities, especially the pleasure component. There are huge gaps in programming for women’s reproductive health and women’s sexuality. Is it possible to address issues such as family planning, rape, gender based and domestic violence and HIV and AIDS without discussing sexual intercourse?

Unless we understand where the power to seek and experience pleasure lies, we cannot resolve the other issues in reproductive health.

The International Centre for Reproductive Health and Sexual Rights (INCRESE) conducted a survey on sexual pleasure among women in Nigeria. Respondents were both male and female, within reproductive age, and from diverse livelihoods. This research was done in Port Harcourt, Lagos, Abuja, Sokoto and Maiduguri — all metropolitan cities.

The survey was followed by an action research project carried out in three semi-urban and rural communities in Niger State, with a balance in representation of ethnicity and religion (Muslim and Christian) and different social groups.

Most respondents admitted that sexual activity can be accompanied by pleasure, and that it is the predominant culture of a group that determines who is entitled to pleasure. In this context, it is the heterosexual male who has the power to experience and express sexual desire and pleasure. He has the power to initiate sexual negotiations including sexual advances. The female is not entitled to any sexual pleasure.

Women are instructed about local herbal preparations and oils, and given tips on how to give pleasure to a male partner. Young women are traditionally taught, for example, how to seduce their male partner and what food to cook to show their partner that they are ready for sexual intercourse. Mothers, aunts, traditional birth attendants and herbalists are key agents in this process. In a few cases, community institutions responsible for preparing young women for marriage play the sex educator role.

Some community leaders and the state government fear that activities such as distributing vibrators would destroy cultural values

Some women are beaten or sent away from their matrimonial homes for making noises like a ‘prostitute’ while having sexual intercourse with their husband. They dare not ask how the husband knows what noises prostitutes make during sexual intercourse.

The research findings include:

• Sexual pleasure can be experienced physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.
• Sexual pleasure can be hindered by fear, anxiety, guilt, grief and discomfort, in addition to clinical conditions, such as disease and dysfunction.
• Couples can be guided to achieve full sexual pleasure by addressing issues in their relationships, which include poor self esteem, lack of choice in the sexuality of partners, fear of infection or unwanted pregnancy, and fear of violence, including psychological abuse.

A training manual has emerged through this work, containing learning materials and tasks for participants to perform. There are also follow-up counselling sessions for participants who require them.

Some community leaders and the state government fear that activities such as distributing vibrators would destroy cultural values. In response, the project was linked with similar community practices. This demonstrated that the programme only modifies existing aspects of culture to respond to issues of concern at the present time. After all, locally made sex aids are openly on sale every day and Viagra is accepted without question.

Participants were given an evaluation exercise with a guide for use. End of project evaluations were conducted six months and one year after the project, to assess how participants used the knowledge and skills acquired, what they found most useful in their relationships, and how the experience affected their lives.

Among those who participated in the project, the evaluation found:

• women were empowered and had improved self esteem
  a drop in domestic violence
• acceptance of family planning and increased use of condoms
• behavioural change to adopt healthy life styles, reducing the risk of contracting HIV
• better communication between couples and better parent-to-child communication
• fuller sexual pleasure, especially for women.

Erotic justice can improve safety, and together these two things can yield benefits ranging from orgasms to reductions in domestic violence, maternal mortality, unsafe abortion, sexually transmitted infections and HIV and AIDS.

Dorothy Aken’Ova
International Centre for Reproductive Health and Sexual Rights (INCRESE), 1E Bosso Road, Minna 930001, Niger State, Nigeria, P.O. Box 904
darlyndotty@yahoo.co.uk